This Is Who We Are — Greysexual Edition

I've been delaying this for too long. Here's the story of how I very unexpectedly stumbled upon the fact that I was acespec.


Where I'm from, stuff like dating or hooking up is not at all common. In fact, it's considered to be quite taboo. Growing up, I was never pressurised to any of those things. I never had the urge to have sex, but neither was I repulsed by it. I always saw sex as something that I didn't want at the moment, but I'd probably do it someday after finding 'the right one'. My perception of sex was very neutral, and since I never talked much about it, I did not realise that others had different views.

In college, my friend introduced me to the world of fanfiction and smuts, which eventually led to us talking about it, but I still didn't realise that I experienced considerably less sexual desire. I had an idea of what asexuality meant but I never connected it to myself. Then during June this year, I came across a post explaining what it meant to be asexual, and when I read it I thought, 'That's me. Not exactly, but yes, that's so me.' I did some quick research on it, decided I was definitely acespec, and told my friend about it. She very plainly stated, 'Yeah I had thought so.' (skdjks girl, if you knew why didn't you tell me?!?!?) I spent the next few weeks ranting to my friend, and trying to figure out which label fit me best, and I eventually decided that I was grey-ace.